Hearts...

  It's a funny thing about the heart.  Sometimes you let someone right in and sometimes it can take months or years to open the heart.  But once you let someone in you can never get them out.

  Here's a question for everyone.  What is the most dangerous four letter word?  "LOVE"  Love is so dangerous because it blindsides us.  Other four letter words are said out of anger or hurt so you see them coming.  Love comes from the heart so it hits you without you even knowing there was an issue.

  Recently I met someone who left me breathless.  She had been in a relationship that ended badly so she was still very gun shy.  She wanted to keep it light and playful and I wanted that too.  She wanted to go slow and see if we could have a relationship with a great foundation.  I wanted that too.  We talked in the now, but from time to time we also talked about the future.  We had a great start.  But then in a blink of an eye everything changed.  A slip of the tongue doomed us.  I uttered that four letter word.   She was not expecting it and it sent chills down her spine.  She stuck it out for a couple of more days, but the damage was done.  In a weeks time We had gone from texting to ending while spending all of our free time together.  We laughed together.  We cried together.  We held each other like we never wanted to let go.  And when the time came each day where I was forced to leave, (another post for another day) nether of us wanted to say goodbye.  We loved being together.

  It ended as quickly as it had started.  After holding each other we were talking about the dangers of my job.  She asked me to be more careful.  She said she would be very upset if something happened to me.  Then I said something that brought back a memory for her.  A very painful memory.  She started crying and she left the room.  After a few minutes she came back and said this was not my fault.  It was.  You see, when I said that four letter word a few nights before, it put pressure on her to start looking in her heart for the same word.  It was not there.  She did not love me.  In time she might have.  It takes some people longer than others to find those words.  She had said she was a little scared because of her last relationship.  I think we were perfect together.  We fit each other.  I just never gave her a chance to find out what was in her heart.

  So the spilt happened and we have texted a few times in the last few days.  She asked me for the impossible.  She asked me to stop loving her.  I can't.  She said she hopes we can be friends in the future and that's what I wanted all along.  Shes still a friend on FB so from time to time I see her post sometime and it makes me smile.  I don't comment or like on her post because she wanted a clean split.  So I'm giving her the space she needs.

  So I sit here now without her in my arms, but forever in my heart.  Hopefully someday she will find the love she couldn't find with me.  I would love to be be back in her life, in her arms again.  Maybe someday that might happen, but for now I will give her space.  But she knows that I will always be waiting for that call when she ready for me to be a part of her life again.

  MS,  I Like you a lot.  a whole lot.   :)

The Snow...

It's snowing here in Duluth. It's rare when we see snow in the Atlanta area and when we do people go nuts. It's the big wet heavy flakes. A light coating on the grass turns the darkness of night into a light glow.

I use to love it when it snowed. Everything looks and smells so new. It would make me want to play. Having fun in the snow...

Not any more. I walked outside tonight and realized that I have no one to play in the snow with. No one to take a walk with. Arms around each other. Hand in hand. Sneaking a kiss in the falling snow. I don't have that anymore. No one to share the snow...

Cyndi will get up tomorrow, go out and play with the kids. I will dream about being with them and having my son with us. All of us together playing in the snow...

One day I hope to be a family again. Waking up together. Watching a beautiful sunrise. Going outside to play. All of this together. A family playing in the snow...

One day I will have fun in the snow again. Me and our family together in the snow...

I Love You Cyndi,

You are my Heart, my Soul, my Life, and my Love. You Are My ONE...


Tony

Fairy Tale: The Do Over....

He was 23 and had never believed in love at first site. She was 16 beautiful and the friend of a friend. When he first saw her his heart filled with joy. Before she said her first to him he was deeply and madly in love with her.

They spent two years together having good days and bad days. More good than bad. They went through a really tough medical problem and their love saw them through it. Then things changed...

He had made some friends that were taking time away from her. He started spending more time with them and less with her. So at some point she was told that he was dating one of these new friends. She was 17 so there was no convincing her that nothing had happened so she finally told him goodbye. It broke his heart to hear that word, but it was even worst on her. He was her everything. She was his everything but he did not see it yet.

A few months later he called her to ask her to meet him. He was going to beg her to come back and was so happy when she said she would meet with him. She never showed to that meeting and their lives would forever be changed.

A car accident keep her from him and before they had a chance to see each other again she met the man that would take her hand in marriage. When he found out about the wedding he was devastated but he still loved her because she still had his heart.

A few years later she called him. She was having some issues and had filed for a divorce. His heart filled with joy knowing that she had come back to him in her time of need. They dated a few times but then she vanished but he still loved her because she still had his heart.

A few years after that, she called him. His heart filled with joy knowing that she had thought of him. He had gotten married and was living what she thought was a happy life. She didn't know that he was filling the void left by her in his heart. Then after a few weeks she vanished but he still loved her because she still had his heart.

Many years past this time without any words from her. He divorced his wife and moved back to his hometown. His heart still longed for her return but she was married and he was not going to get in the way. He still loved her because she still had his heart.

Then she was there again. This time a simple email that said "Hi. How are you?" That was all it took. His heart filled with joy knowing that she was back in his life. She finally told him why she had vanished all of those times. Out of respect for him. It's been two months now and she is still here with him. She is still married but they are having some issues. He still loves her because she has his heart.

I talked to him the other day and we talked about the last 25 years that he has longed for her return and he said he never gave up hope because he loved her and she had his heart. Then I asked him if she loved him any he said said yes. I asked how he knew and he said....

"Because she told me that she loved me because I always had her heart.....

Saying Hi To All My New Readers....

Last night we picked up a few new readers. The most interesting of those would be the one who logged in at 3:49am. I always enjoy new readers and I have nothing to hide as you can read from my post.

So what do I do about my latest readers. Nothing. I can't help how I feel.

Cyndi, I do believe everything you have said.

I Love You my little Angel...

Tony

Fairy Tale Pt. 1

A long time ago in the small village of Lilburn, there lived a beautiful princess that went by the name of Lady Cyndi. Lady Cyndi was the most beautiful in all the land,and although she had this beauty, charm, and was so smart, she was missing the one thing that all princesses need. True love.

At 16 years of age a stable boy named Anthony started working at the palace tending to the needs of the King and Queen. When Anthony and Lady Cyndi first set eyes on each other they knew that they were meant to spend their lives together.

The King and Queen thought Anthony worthy of their daughters love and gave their blessing to the union. So Anthony and Lady Cyndi spent all of there time together from sun up to late into the evening. They knew that they were meant to be together forever so Anthony went to the King to ask for Lady Cyndi's hand in marriage. The King gave his blessing and on the following eve Anthony got down on one knee and ask Lady Cyndi to be his bride.

What the F------

Ever have one of those days that make you say what the hell did I do for this. Well today was one of those days.

Today started out great. Cyndi called and started my day by saying "I Love You". Can't Beat that for a wake up. Well at least I can't beat that for now. So my day started on a high note. I was going to meet her for lunch. Getting to see her is so special. I love to look into her eyes and seeing my future. We talked all morning and made our plans. Then everything went to hell.

Her husband called and told here to stay put because he was coming up there for only the third time since she started working there. Damn. I was really LOOKING forward to see her. wink, wink. Well my surgery will go off without a hitch. WRONG.

Mr. W, you have Pyo genic Granuloma. I form of skin cancer. Can't someone please just stomp on my puppy. That's the only thing left. Had to decide if I was going to tell Cyndi. She just found out Sat. that her mom has cancer. I better tell her or she will kick my ass.

Well things started looking up when I called Cyndi after the doctor's and she wanted me to come by. I got to see her for 10 minutes, the best therapy I could have had, and she did what she does best. Took my hand, kissed me, and let me know how much she was in love with me.

We talked on the phone the rest of the day and texted while she was on her way home. we talked on the phone until I had to go.

I can't wait until tomorrow when I get to talk to my love again.

Cyndi, I love you. You are My Heart, My Light, My Love, and My ONE....

Until tomorrow,

Tony

I Love...

I love the way you make feel, with hope for the future...

I love the way you look at me. Softly, reminding me that your love for me is still strong...

I love the way you touch me. Lightly tracing my fingers with your, running your fingers through my hair...

I love the way you kiss me. Gently at first then with so much passion. So much warmth. So much love.

I love the way you love me. Hopeful, Softly, Lightly, Gently, Passionately, and with so much heart.

I love YOU. Beauty beyond compare. Passion beyond Control. Love beyond boundaries.

I LOVE YOU CYNDI....

I LOVE YOU....