Last night I sat up until 5am in the dark trying to figure out what went wrong between K and I. How could it have just ended after being together for 12 years.
At 4:30am it hit me. I thought that I had finally figured this whole thing out.
You see, about 5 years ago K told me that she needed to talk to me. The scariest 4 words you will ever hear. So we started to talk and she told me that she felt bad because she could not love me the way that I loved her. I heard this and then told her that it was going to be OK because I loved her enough for both of us. Life went on as normal.
About 3 years ago K told me this same thing as before. I again told her that I had enough love for both of us. Life went on again.
About a week before she told me she wanted this divorce, she told me the same thing again. I told her the same as before but this time she said that was not enough.
All of this time I was hearing K but I never understood what she was saying. Last night as I sat there in the dark, I finally understood her. All of this time my heart was filled with so much love, but her heart was an empty shell. She needed to feel the love that for so long I had felt for her.
K. I am truly sorry for not understanding what you were trying to tell me. Please forgive me for this and understand that because of you I am a better man. I do hope that some day you will feel for someone the love that I have felt for you for over a quarter of our lives.
I Love You,
Tony
