Death by Brain...

K. This post is in no way a poke at you or him or anybody else.

Went to bed at 11 pm thinking about her. Woke up at 2 am thinking about her. This has been my sleeping pattern over the last 2 weeks. I can't eat. The thought of food makes me ill. I've lost 12 lbs. over the last week. Why is it that I morn the loss of K that much. Is my heart, my mind not letting me eat to punish me for all the wrongs that I have done to her? Could my body be trying to commit suicide by starvation and me not even know it?

I woke o this morning and lay there wondering what she was doing. She last blogged at 1 am, so see is ether asleep or on the phone with him. She and he both follow a lot of the same blogs. They met through a blog of a really good friend of K's. She loves him and he says he loves her. she says that she is going to meet him. If this is true, then we might have a problem Houston. You see, I told K that I would never try to take our son away from her. That was always a big worry for her. Because of the life path she follows she thinks I would stand up in front of a judge and use that against her. I would never do this, but if this is the love say says it is, then her running off to Texas to be with this man causes an issue. I will not let her take my son half way cross country to live. She will not take my son from me.

I have been handling a lot of questions from a 6 year old little boy over the last few weeks. But Thursday he asked me a question that a thought might better be answered by K. He asked me "Daddy, if you move into a new house will mommy let a new daddy move in here?" OUCH... So yesterday we were sitting on the floor playing a game and I told him to ask his mommy that question. K said "Maybe, we will have to see." I thought to myself, "Wow, I didn't know you could replace a daddy that easily. " Now don't get me wrong here. I am sure she didn't hear the question the way it was asked, but now I had to tell mt son that I was his daddy for all time. Even if I'm not living with him. I told him mommy may have new friends that move in to the house, but I was his daddy. Then K explained to him that I would always be his daddy.

I need to let be running along. I have to be up in a few hours to go Chase Race Cars and Rescue Drivers. Or it the other way around. I never can remember.

Until next time.

K. You are my Heart, my Soul, my Life, and my Love.
But most of all, you are my Friend.

I love you.

T.